I get asked this question by brides (and friends, acquaintances, and strangers planning their weddings…) all the time and in my opinion as a photographer, and recent bride, yes. You should totally do a first look. Let me start off by explaining what a first look is exactly, because it’s only recently become a “thing” in the wedding world. A first look is when a couple (and usually their photographer/videographer) chooses a beautiful, private location to see each other and get photos of the two of them before the ceremony. They get the excitement of seeing each other fully dressed up and ready for the ceremony, but with the benefit of having it be a private moment. Now, I get that some couples want to stick to tradition and wait until walking down the aisle to see each other for the first time on their wedding day and that’s totally cool. The choice is theirs and I (and most photographers) will happily do whatever they wish to do on their big day. If a couple wants to do this and are looking into a wedding photographer, they may think about doing a quick Google search of key phrases such as ‘best wedding photographers in Calgary‘, for example, to get one that they fit in with to capture their special moment. here are a few reasons why I recommend it to anyone who is on the fence about it:
It is More Intimate and Romantic
Picture seeing your spouse for the first time on your wedding day. They are looking their best, smiling from ear to ear, they – and you- are nervous, excited and oh so anxious! Now picture all of that happening while you’re in front of 100 or more of your closest family and friends. If you’re like me, you’re probably worried about smiling, standing up straight, walking to fast, tripping over your dress…basically not messing up in front of everyone. For some people, it can be hard to focus on the moment when everything else is going on around you. There are a lot of emotions going and, in my opinion, the best way to capture and share them is to first do so privately with only each other. You are free to cry, laugh, embrace and truly enjoy a moment alone with your significant other on this crazy day. Rarely does a groom get emotional when he first sees his bride walking down the aisle because he’s so nervous, but during a first look? It happens almost every time. Trust me when I say, walking down the aisle during the ceremony is still a romantic and special moment, whether or not you have seen each other beforehand.
It Can Make the Wedding Day Go Smoother
Doing a first look is like adding an extra hour to your wedding. Truly. It allows you to get bridal party and formal family photos as well as most of the photos of the two of you taken care of before the ceremony. This is especially important if you are having a morning or late evening wedding when harsh daytime sunshine or darkness may be an issue for photos. Having wedding photos taken is (hopefully!) an important part of your day so only leaving an hour to get all the photos done while your guests enjoy cocktails leaves you and your photographer rushed to get through all the different photo groupings. And, if for some reason your wedding runs late or you’re having trouble getting family members assembled because they’re in line to grab a drink, that hour could quickly turn into only 20 or 30 minutes before your caterer and planner want to get dinner going. If you do the majority of the photos beforehand you don’t need to stress about that and you’ll have plenty of time to take beautiful sunset portraits, get group photos that may have been missed….or enjoy the cocktail hour with your guests! (which leads me to….)
You Actually Get to Enjoy the Party
One of the biggest reasons my previous couples have chosen to do a first look is so they can actually enjoy their reception. You’ve worked hard to plan this thing, so why not enjoy every minute of it! The cocktail hour is a great time to mingle with guests, eat or drink a little bit, or have some alone time, just the two of you.
It Will Calm Your Nerves
I was a nervous wreck before my wedding, so getting to spend time with my husband before the ceremony was great. It calmed me down and turned my anxieties into excitement. I also knew I would be a blubbering, tearful mess at the ceremony, so during our first look, we actually read each other the vows we wrote just to get the tears out of the way, and I have to say it worked! If you think seeing each other would make you less nervous or anxious, then go for it!
More Time With Your Soon-to-be Spouse
Your first look may be the only time you have alone with your spouse during your wedding…honestly! It all goes by so fast and there are so many people to see and things to do that even getting a moment together can be difficult. I’ve had many couples tell me that one of their favorite moments from their wedding was their first look for the simple fact that it was their only time alone! Plus, if you see each other before the ceremony you’ll be spending a good two or three more hours with them getting photos done and relaxing before you tie the knot, than if you choose to wait until you’re walking down the aisle.
Your Hair, Makeup and Flowers Will Look Fresh
So this is probably the least important reason to do a first look, but it is still a great bonus that your hair, makeup and flowers will be fresher earlier in the day…especially if you’re getting married during summer months or in a warm location. Doing a first look and photos immediately afterward will allow you to look your best if that’s important to you. Your hair and makeup will still be in place and your flowers haven’t wilted when your significant other first sees you and you get your photos taken.
I hope this list has given you some insight into whether or not to do a first look, but the bottom line is, do what you want. Do what makes sense for you and your spouse and your wedding. And remember that no first look or dance or wedding photo is going to take away from the one moment in the whole day that really matters: The moment you finally become husband and wife. So talk to your spouse, your friends who’ve recently gotten married, and your photographer and decide what’s best for you. Ultimately, the only rule of the day should be to do what makes you happy.
And here are a few photos from one of my favorite first looks I’ve shot in recent years. I think the looks on their faces says it all.
